Rehab Planking

In getting through my week, I have realized how important it is to not only document my experiences with being a new occupational therapist, but to write down some of the funny comments that come out of people's mouths. Because these are the kinds of things that will help get me through the day when things aren't as amusing. So here we go:

80ish-yr-old patient during a cooking activity: You pinched my boob!
COTA: Sorry, I didn' realize they were down there.
Patient: Oh yeah, they're down there alright. Like lemons in socks.

Me: Did your wife leave?
Patient: Yeah. And frankly I don't give a damn if she ever comes back.
*awkward silence*
Patient: She ticks me off.

Me: You didn't shower yet this morning did you?
Male patient: No. I told the nurse you had first dibs on me. I don't know what it is with you and watching me shower.

Me, walking in my patient's room: MORNING!!
Patient: Oh no.  

PT: I like planking. Wow that sounds dirty.

Patient sitting in gym across from another patient: WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?!

Patient during fine motor activity: Now when am I ever going to use PEGS? I don't have PEGS!

Patient sitting up in bed: I'm pooped.

Me: You POOPED?!

Patient: Oh god I hope not.

Patient: I finished the plane while you were gone. In standing, too! I won't mind if you document that I did even though you weren't really here.

Me: Uh, no.